Thursday, July 17, 2008

In the works

This has been a bit of a rough go.. the past week or so anyway. 
This month holds a bunch of emotional ups and downs historically for me... And to avoid being vague- Mom's birthday would have been this month, Their wedding anniversary, and the 5 year mark since she passed away. 
I'm doing ok... just a little moody.
Pretty good considering. "The new ok" as we, the initiated learn. (You don't want to join that club)

In the past, as you probably know... unless you live in denial (as I often tend to do), I've struggled with some bouts of depression- enough that I likely should have been getting some other help- but stubborn enough that I can play along nicely- hmm, maybe even nicely enough that you didn't notice? Ok, I'll take back the living in denial statement. 
Anyway- as a byproduct of this state- I've had a tendency to go into a hibernation mode... or, rather... pre-hibernation mode.... that part where you ready yourself for winter by eating everything in sight? 

Well, this time, I'm taking a different approach. This time, instead of folding into myself, and tucking into the fridge, I'm taking up running.
yup.
 
An aside~ Last night someone (random who I don't often see) asked me how I was doing (in reference to Mom being gone)... and then, not 5 mins later, someone else introduced me as "Pat's daughter". I held it together, and it felt nice to hear. 
Later, recounting the story to someone else, they said "your mom must be thinking about you".
Ok, I didn't hold it together to well then.