Tuesday, November 27, 2007

to the shakes

There are people out there who know how to manipulate.
There are people out there with too much power.
There are people who really need a wake up. I've been dealing with one of those people for a few years now... and she angers me to the point of the shakes.

I'm talking boiling below the surface anger. Make me sick in the gut.

I have to sit here and remind myself that I am better than that. That I'm a bigger person for choosing to deal with things as rationally as possible. Breathe in, breathe out.
Close my eyes.
And try to convince myself that she does not in fact have power over me, that she is a sick sick woman in need of help.
Try to feel bad for her.

And then, between the cleansing breath.....I'm still shaking. I'm swearing under my breath.
I picture myself screaming at her. I picture making her feel the same way. I see myself exposing her as the insane person she is to the greater community. I see the police taking her away...

And then I breathe again.
And I remember she's not worth it.

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